Boundaries are a Doula's Best Friend
How to Protect Your Energy and Build a Thriving Business
As doulas, we pour our hearts into supporting families during one of the most transformative times of their lives. We show up with compassion, dedication, and unwavering care. But let’s be honest—without boundaries, this work can quickly become draining, unsustainable, and even a fast track to burnout.
So here’s the truth: Boundaries aren’t just good for you—they’re essential for your clients, too. When you protect your energy and set clear expectations, you provide better care, prevent resentment, and build a business that lasts.
If you’re struggling with late-night texts, exhausting schedules, or clients who expect way more than they paid for, it’s time to rethink your boundaries. Let’s dive into why they matter and, more importantly, how to set them.
Why Doulas Struggle with Boundaries
Many doulas enter this work with big hearts and a deep desire to serve. But that often comes with the subconscious belief that:
🚫 Saying no is selfish
🚫 Accommodating every client request is "just part of the job of being a ‘good’ doula"
🚫 Setting firm business policies will scare clients away
Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone! In my recent podcast interview with Allison Coleman, owner of the Austin Baby Guru doula agency, (who makes clients apply to work with her—yes, really!), she talked about how doulas are often taught to be self-sacrificing rather than empowered business owners.
But here’s the thing: Boundaries don’t push people away. They build trust.
When you’re clear about what you offer, when you’re available, and how you run your business, clients feel safer knowing exactly what to expect.
So, let’s get practical.
5 Boundaries Every Doula Should Set
1. Be Clear About Your Availability
✨ Action Step: Decide in advance when you are available for calls, texts, and client support. Then, communicate it clearly in your contract and welcome email.
For example:
📅 Office hours: Monday-Friday, 9 AM - 5 PM
📱 Urgent calls only between 10 PM - 6 AM
✉️ Non-urgent texts/emails will be responded to within 24 hours
This prevents clients from assuming you’re available 24/7 (which is a fast track to burnout).
2. Set Expectations for How You Work
✨ Action Step: Before a client ever books with you, outline exactly what your role includes—and what it doesn’t.
For example:
✅ Providing emotional, physical, and educational support
✅ Helping with newborn care within the scope of a doula
❌ No household chores (unless explicitly included in your contract)
❌ No 24-hour on-call availability for postpartum support
Setting these expectations early prevents misunderstandings later.
3. Learn to Say "No" (Without Guilt!)
Many doulas fear that turning down a client request will make them seem uncaring. But saying "yes" when you mean "no" leads to resentment.
✨ Action Step: Practice saying "no" in a kind but firm way. Try phrases like:
🗣 “That’s not something I offer, but I’d be happy to recommend someone who does!”
🗣 “I don’t have availability for that, but I can help you find another great doula.”
🗣 “That’s outside of my scope, but I’d love to support you in other ways.”
4. Charge What You’re Worth (And Stick to It!)
Undercharging or giving constant discounts isn’t sustainable. Your time, experience, and care are valuable.
✨ Action Step: Set your prices based on what you need to earn—not just what you think clients will pay. And once your rates are set, stand by them.
Instead of negotiating, say:
💰 “My rate for this service is $X. Let me know if you’d like to move forward.”
💰 “I completely understand if that’s outside your budget, and I’d be happy to refer you to other doulas.”
The right clients will respect your pricing.
5. Screen Clients Before You Say Yes
✨ Action Step: Consider adding a mutual interview where both you and the client determine if you’re a good fit.
💡 In my podcast episode with Allison Coleman, she shared how she makes clients apply to work with her. Why? Because doulas deserve to work with families who respect their expertise and align with their values.
Instead of saying “yes” to everyone, ask yourself:
✅ Do I feel good about working with this family?
✅ Do they understand my boundaries and respect them?
✅ Does their parenting style align with how I work as a doula?
If the answer is no, it’s okay to refer them elsewhere!
Final Thoughts: Boundaries = A Thriving Doula Business
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, overworked, or underappreciated, the first step isn’t “getting more clients”—it’s getting the right clients and structuring your business in a way that supports you, too.
When you have strong boundaries, you attract better clients, make more money, and actually enjoy your work.
And if you want to hear more about how to run a sustainable, boundary-friendly doula business, don’t miss my conversation with Allison Coleman:
🎧 Listen to Episode 21 of The Doula Darcy Podcast here:
